Purim-observance changes among non-Orthos
I think this exchange, from the comments to my Purim morning post, is worth publishing separately.
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I'm starting to wonder if the tradition of mishloach manot is falling by the wayside? It seems like the focus of the holiday in general seems to be on children and carnivals and other things that try to make the holiday more into a Jewish version of Halloween. The Suedah, mishloach manot - these seem to be observed by very few people nowadays.
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Shira Salamone said...
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"It seems like the focus of the holiday in general seems to be on children and carnivals and other things that try to make the holiday more into a Jewish version of Halloween." I hadn't thought of the Halloween connection, but I think you have a point.
And thanks for reminding that I was going to post about this. Actually, come to think of it, I already did post about the lack of Seudot Purim among Conservative Jews. I think the real issue is not that "The Suedah, mishloach manot - these seem to be observed by very few people nowadays," it's that they seem to be observed by very few *non-Orthodox* people nowadays.
My experience as a life-long Conservative Jew is that we have Purim parties, Purim carnivals, and, sometimes, Purim costume contests. But I don't believe I've ever seen a Conservative synagogue advertise a Purim meal as a Seudat Purim, and, in some Conservative synagogues, giving Mishloach Manot is either something that people have "never heard of" (despite their rabbi's annual explanation) or something that their grandparents did.
To read about Purim among the Orthodox, and, perhaps, find out what the rest of us are missing, try this post by Larry Lennhoff and this round-up by DovBear.
posted by Shira Salamone at 5:47 PM
12 Comments:
Bad Cohen grew up with no Purim traditions except the shul Purim Spiel (which he only told me this year he loathes), so he gets a little passive-aggressive about helping with anything Purim related.
For my part, I make hamantashen with my son and give out mishloach manot, go to the reading of the megillah and the spiel (toddler permitting), and talk about the story with my son. Ok, I also let him eat hamantashen all week leading up to it. But only one other family ever brings us mishloach manot, as nobody around here was raised with the custom. I don't take it personally, it's just what people do (or don't do).
But I'm raising my son with these good memories and customs, and hopefully he'll do it with his kids. Unless he really makes good on his threat that when he's the grown-up, he'll keep all the hamantashen for himself. :)
Ooh, I forgot all about the Purim Shpiel (Purim Play, usually a parody)! I've both seen and taken part in quite a number of those. They can be great fun.
Best of luck raising your kid with the good memories of which so many of us have been deprived or that so many have cast aside.
Like you, I'm born and raised in the conservative movement. Always went to hear the megillah on erev purim, costumes when I was little (I'm 50+ now), that was about it. And while I diligently attended hebrew school, even continuing after my bar mitzvah, I never learned about mishloch manot, the seudah, or maatanot, until I was in law school and most of my friends had grown up Orthodox. Even in college, though many of my friends were orthodox, it was never an issue.
Now, we do mishloch manot through the shul, although we tend to make a few special packages for friends and fulfill the tzedakah obligation through a variety of ways.
Steve, my background is very similar--I, too, went to the Megillah reading in costume, but didn't learn much in Hebrew School about the other mitzvot (commandments) regarding Purim. As with a good deal of my Jewish education, I learned about 75% of what I now know as an adult. That doesn't say much about a Conservative Hebrew School education. :(
My fifth grade Hebrew school students prepared Mishloach Manot in the weeks leading up to Purim; on Sunday all 25 of us took the baskets to a retirement home and stayed for the reading of the Megillah. The kids were well-behaved, and I couldn't help but kvell.
If we don't teach and show our young people how to do observe, how will they learn? :)
Shira,
One Conservative shul in my area had several Purim events on Purim night, including a shpiel, music, dinner, and karaoke, but NO MEGILLAH READING. They only had a reading during the day.
Many C places don't even read during the day at all, despite the fact that you are supposed to hear it twice. I think it can be good to focus on the children, but not at the expense of making them think that Purim is a "kids only" thing that they will grow out of.
Also, a major reason why the C movement doesn't push mishlach manos and a Purim Seudah is that except when Purim falls on Sunday, people will be working. They can't even convince people to not work on yontif when it is forbidden, how can they possibly tell people to not work on a day when it is technically permissable (although halachic sources do not look favorably on "work" in the general sense of the word on Purim unless absolutely necasarry.)
In my whole life I've probably only met about 5 conservative jews (not counting Rabbis Cantor or their children) that actually took off from work on Purim if it wasn't on a Sunday.
Also, you might disagree with me on this, but how can you expect people to care about Purim when it seems like the Conservative movment's semi-official stance is that the whole Purim story isn't really true?
Tevel, I'm glad your Hebrew School is doing such a good job. As you said, our kids won't learn Jewish observance unless we teach and role-model observance for them.
Anon, no evening Megillah reading??! That's pretty radical.
". . .a major reason why the C movement doesn't push mishlach manos and a Purim Seudah is that except when Purim falls on Sunday, people will be working. They can't even convince people to not work on yontif when it is forbidden, how can they possibly tell people to not work on a day when it is technically permissable . . ."
Check out my "Shver tzu zein a Conservative Yid on Purim" to which I linked in my post. You'll see that, in one of my comments, I said pretty much the same thing. :(
"Also, you might disagree with me on this, but how can you expect people to care about Purim when it seems like the Conservative movment's semi-official stance is that the whole Purim story isn't really true?"
My perspective may be rather unorthodox (not to mention unOrthodox), but I think the important thing is not that the story is (or isn’t) true, but that the story is ours.
In regards to it not mattering if the story is true as long as it is ours:
It is one thing to say that George Washington didn't really cut down a cherry tree, it is quite another to say that George Washington didn't exist.
Is Purim a celebration of our deliverance from potential annhiliation or is it merely a folkway, like wearing green on March 17th?
"Is Purim a celebration of our deliverance from potential annhiliation or is it merely a folkway, like wearing green on March 17th?"
It's both. We've been threatened with potential annihilation before (as when Pharaoh ordered all baby boys drowned), and--or "or," if you don't accept the historicity of the exodus story--certainly many times since. So even a Jew who doesn't accept the historicity of the Book of Esther could say that Purim is a folkway in celebration of the fact that we Jews are still here.
Yes, it does seem that the tradition of giving to others and the poor seems to have fallen by the wayside.
I wonder why this is?
rachel
Rachel, good question. Lack of time, especially since Mishloach Manot are supposed to be distributed during Purim *day,* not in the evening, may be an issue among employed folks who don't take Purim off--and the majority of employed galut/diasporah Jews don't take Purim off. Lack of money in these tough times may also be a factor.
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